Like anyone that has walked on this planet I’ve asked myself the big questions.
Why are we here, what is the meaning of life and what does it take to be happy and lead a life you love?
I’ve been seeking the answers to those questions from a young age. I was always something of a people observer, and I could see the majority of people appeared to lack real contentment with their lives.
There was a real feeling of just going through the motions and running the rat race of life.
I knew that wasn’t for me and after my first few short-lived jobs, it was clear I wasn’t going to make the cut as an employee. After just a year of working, I quit my steady job and took a commission only sales role.
I loved it.
Complete freedom to work when and how I wanted and results based income. In my first month, I made more money than I would have received in 18 months working as an employee. It was in this environment that I first became aware of personal development materials.
My manager Carl was a keen advocate of working on your mindset. This was at a time before most people in the UK were even aware of the self-help industry’s existence.
Carl arranged for cassette programs to arrive at the office by mail from the US on a monthly basis. (yes, this was even before CD days!)
He encouraged me to invest a significant amount of my earnings in them every month. I will forever be in his debt for this. It set me on a new path. Without him, I may not even be writing this now.
So let’s fast forward 20 odd years.
In that time I’ve read, watched, listened to many books and programs. I’ve started, built and ended many businesses and projects.
They weren’t all successes but with each new attempt I improved and so did my results. One day I finally arrived where I’d always been trying to get to, what many people would call the ‘dream lifestyle’.
It was great; I was working hard but having fun and then it started to happen. This thing had happened many times before in life, but I thought it was gone for good.
That thing was a voice inside me. It was questioning if I was living the life I wanted?
Was I spending my days doing what inspired me? Was I content?
The answer to all those questions, though I tried best as could to ignore it, was an emphatic no.
So it would seem rather than getting anywhere I had arrived right back where I began all those years back, looking for answers. It would appear I’d not been looking in the right place, and I wasn’t alone.
The majority of people in the marketplace I was serving at that time were in the same situation. Lost, confused and fatigued by the struggle to create their ideal life.
I needed to find some new answers, not just for myself but for others too.
So I decided to stop treating the areas of psychology, personal development and happiness as a hobby. I began the process of what author Steven Pressfield refers to as ‘Turning Pro’.
Over a period of 2 years, I sought out the leaders in these areas and learnt from them. I jumped on planes, invested more money than I care to remember and got in front of them.
I was personally mentored by industry leaders such as Brendon Burchard & Ali Campbell.
I became certified in their processes, and I took what I had learnt and started to coach others.
I made my life a laboratory and began experimenting.
No theory or approach was off the table. I read, studied, read, studied and then read and studied some more. What made sense and worked for me I kept, what didn’t I discarded.
Once you dive deep into a topic, it doesn’t take too long before you start seeing patterns. The true fundamentals begin to come to the surface.
Once they did, I became aware that I had been wrong most of my life. I had been taking an incorrect approach to achieving those things we all desire. Peace, love, connection, fulfilment, happiness and joy.
That’s not to say I hadn’t enjoyed those things in my life to this point. It would be pretty hard to be breathing and not at least stumble across them from time to time.
The real problem I came to realise was that when I did have them in my life, it was because I had fought too hard for them. I didn’t ‘allow’ them in my life. I had won them from sheer determination and effort.
Nothing wrong with that you may think but then why did I keep finding myself back at the same place?
That was the big question, and that is where the framework for our coaching programs was born. I’d been making a terrible mistake. It is same the mistake we are all making but one outside of our awareness.
I had been looking to, and wanting my outside world to make me feel good inside. I had built my world outside/in when I should have been building it inside/out.
This realisation changed everything.
When you build, grow, evolve and live from inside out then, you can start living the life you are here to live.
Why is it that when you ask people, “What is it you want in life?” they find it so hard to answer that question past the usual surface level answers?
How much better would all our lives be if we were clear on the answer to that question? Shouldn’t we know the answer?
The likely truth is you do know. It’s just like me; you’ve been looking in the wrong places for the answers. You’ve had an outside/in approach.
We all do it. ‘If I can just get that job, partner, car, house, money or business, etc.’ then I will be happy.
Even when those things do arrive in our life, we often find we still just ‘don’t feel quite right inside’. Then we start chasing and craving the next thing that we think will solve the problem.
What’s wrong with us and what we need to do to correct it has been the focus of the personal development industry.
Getting yourself into a peak state has been the name of the game. While that can get results what good is that if they are not the ones you are really seeking? If they don’t allow you to be your authentic self?
- It’s time we started to look at what’s right with us and focusing less on what’s wrong.
- It’s time for of us to look inside, for that is where the answers lie and to build our life from the inside out.
- It’s time all of us to be our authentic selfs, to live the way we want to live, to do the things we love to do, to serve others with our gifts, to unleash our inherent creativity and to make our difference in the world today.
- It’s time to get clarity on what we truly desire, and it’s time to create the reality that matches it.
I look forward to co-creating with you a life that our dreams are of made of, and to do what I can to help you live fearlessly every day.
What do you think? Leave a comment below and let me know!