So what does it take to live the life you really want and to have it all?
Through the experience of my own journey the last couple of years, I’ve been able to nail it down to five main steps. I’d like to share each step with you in this series of posts.
Each of the 5 Steps could be the topic of a book itself, but I’ll do my best to share what I believe can help you the most today in each step.
Let’s get started!
Step One: Mindset & Understanding The Nature of Thought
This step is the foundation of everything else. If you think I’m talking here about positive thinking, that’s not it at all. I’m not saying thinking positive isn’t a good thing, the problem is, well…you need to think about it too much!
Understanding the process and nature of thought is far more important than the thoughts themselves.
On an average day, we have 70,000+ thoughts. 70,000! A huge percentage of those we are totally unaware of, so trying to control our thoughts is a fruitless task.
The majority of thoughts pass right through us; we have them, and then they are gone. Others we decide to hold onto, and we have a tendency to do this especially with thoughts that don’t serve us. Thoughts such as “I’m not good enough” or “this will never work”.
Then we begin the process of analysing these unwelcome thoughts by adding more facts to support them until we find ourselves lost in a whirlwind of confusion and desperation.
For the most part, the problem isn’t what we think it is; it’s what we are thinking. (you may want to read that line again)
It doesn’t need to be that way. Once you understand the true nature of thought, you can be free from its grip. You become the observer of your thoughts and see them for what they really are.
Thoughts lead to feelings, feelings lead to actions and actions lead to outcomes.
You can’t stop your thoughts from happening, and that is why actively thinking positive is not a viable long-term proposition. Some thoughts you have will be positive, some not so. That’s just the way it is.
You can, however, be aware of the current state of your thinking by how you feel. Thoughts lead to feelings. So if you are feeling down, frustrated, angry, etc. that is a good indication of how your current thinking is. Any actions taken from this place are probably not going to lead to the outcomes you want.
So when you are in this state, best to take no action whatsoever. These thoughts will pass, and new ones will replace them. Sit it out and wait.
If you went down to a river and filled a glass with water, it would most likely be cloudy. The way to get it to clear would not be to keep stirring or shaking it. To enable the water to clear you would set the glass down on the side. Then the sediment would fall to the bottom in its own time.
It’s the same with thought. If your current thinking is frustrating you and stopping you from making decisions, set the glass down and let the water clear. Adding more thoughts and stirring them over and over in your mind will only keep your water muddy.
When the sediment settles you will have clarity (your normal resting position) and that would be the time to make decisions. Anything you decide from that place will lead to far better actions and outcomes that are in alignment with your true desires.
No conversation about mindset would be complete without speaking about fear. The list of fears we experience as humans appears to be never ending. We can become fearful about almost anything it would seem.
When it comes down to moving forward and creating the life we want for ourselves, there are two main fears I hear from my coaching clients.
The fear of not knowing and the fear of making the wrong decisions. They are the same thing. Wanting to know that the outcome of an action will produce a positive or ‘right’ result.
You have to become friends with not knowing.
So you don’t know how it will turn out, so what? No problem. Why not go and find out?
Maybe you want to start a new business or move country but you don’t know if it will work out as you hope. Say to yourself “I don’t know if this move/business is going to work out, and I’m okay with that”.
Not knowing is just fine. You accept that is the case, and it’s all good.
As simplistic as this sounds, being okay with not knowing sets you free to try. Give it a go.
Fear of Making The Wrong Decision
The fear of making the wrong decision holds so many people back from living life on their terms. I hear it all the time; “I’m so frightened of making the wrong decision”. It’s natural to have that fear; it is a product of the conditioning we received growing up.
The reality is there are no right or wrong decisions. There are just decisions and outcomes. Whether you think they are good or bad is a matter of interpretation and mindset. Any outcome or situation you are experiencing is in itself, neither good nor bad. It just is what it is.
How many times in your life has something you considered a bad situation at the time, years later been the same event you report as the best thing that ever happened to you? If it hadn’t been for that turn of events, you wouldn’t be where you are today, a place you consider to be good.
Free yourself from needing to know and worrying about if you are making the right decision. Every decision you make leads you somewhere, and that’s all that matters. The name of the game is progression, not perfection. Keep moving forward, experiment and have some fun!
These are just a few of the mindsets that can lead to a fearless life. There are many others but if you make decisions from a place of clarity and learn to be okay about not knowing, that’s a good start.
I’d like to end this first post of the series by reminding you of a truth you may have forgotten. You are a creator, and you are powerful. That’s what you are. You have the power to create any reality you want for yourself.
Clear your mind, look inside and try to hear that inner voice. The one that tries to guide you, the one that knows your authentic desires, the one we call intuition. If you can tune into that voice instead of the 70,000 thoughts broadcasting daily in your head, you will be amazed at where it will lead you.
As usual, please share your thoughts below or email me directly. I’ll post the next of the 5 Steps To a Fearless Life & Having It all soon. Sign up for our newsletter below to be sure you don’t miss it. If you think this post could help someone, please share it.
UPDATE: The next post is live, you can read it by clicking here
Until next time, Live Fearlessly!